AleroButtercup

With kids or not with kids, that is the question.

Don't we all just love summer weddings? I love 'em, yes I do do do. My only other favourite thing is a destination wedding, lounging in the Sun, sand under your feet and drinking from breakfast till dawn ?, who can beat that? But home summer weddings are cheaper so let's stick with this one for now ?. I hadn't been to a wedding in a while as a guest, I am either photographing or planning behind the scenes so you can imagine my elation when I discovered I had two summer weddings to attend in 2017, I was over the moon. I love weddings, they are so refreshing and they take your mind off the day to day hustle and bustle of life. You have the time to reflect on your own marriage and relationships, almost like a Catholic baptism ceremony where you renew your vows every time you attend the christening of an infant. Based on this I see weddings as a little honeymoon for the hubby and I, we absorb and renew vows in our minds, we have a drink or two or three or four, who is counting anyways ?, we dance and are like teenagers again so I ain't gonna be mad if the kiddo is at home in his bed while mama and papa dance into the night.  So my ritual when I receive an invitation looks a bit like this: I scan the invition desperately looking for the part that says "KEEP YOUR DAMN KIDS AT HOME SO THEY DON'T WRECK MY WEDDING", If I don't see it immediately, I don't panic, nope,  I move on to plan B Call the bride and ask the suggestive question "Kids are completely banned from your wedding right?" Pinning my last hopes on a resounding "YES" so I can leave my bubba at home with a clear conscience. In this case it did not happen! The bride called me to tell me "there is a play area for the kids at the reception" ?, who cares ?. Ok then killjoy, I will bring him then gosh! *rolls eyes to the extent that I lost my contacts in there*. So now I knew I was taking my son I had to make some preparations that wouldn't have been necessary if someone just remembered to tell the printers to emboss "No kids, only jellof" on every invite ? 1. Prepare all outfits and back up outfits the night before (don't underestimate the power of time wasting kids insert into your morning of an important occassion) 2. Pack snacks. You  ever know when your next meal will come ? on that day so make sure you stock up on snacks, biscuits, crisps, fruit and carrot sticks, don't forget all the drinks your toddler would need. 3. Did I say pack extra clothes? Especially when there is white involved, there is bound to be an accident that will spoil your day. Pack spares  and spares of those spares 4. Be ready to entertain the lil munchkins.  Restlessness in the church doesn't mean they are not disciplined, it means they don't understand what is going on so they are not interested. Be ready to take them outside for some fresh air. Make them do some star jumps as well to expend some of that extra energy ? 5. Involve them in the wedding. Point interesting things out to them like details on the bride's dress, details on centre pieces and interesting outfits in the room, they will become more observant and perhaps less disruptive ?. I also make Jax talk to people sitting around him, kids, adults, whoever. Ipads and phones are a no no  6. Lastly pack pyjamas to change them into for the journey home because they are going to fall asleep after a long day. These are my tips and tricks for helping kids enjoy the day just as you do. I hope this helps somebody somewhere.  About this outfit This dress I spotted a while ago on Instagram and fell in love with it immediately. I am so proud to say this is by a progressive Nigerian designer DZYN. Statement sleeves have always been a trend I cherish and never have  sleeves made more of a statement than these. I got so many compliments that I felt like a princess. Dress  by Abuja based designer DZYN here  Shoes public desire here Accessories by ByOpaleye here Until next time buttercups

Taking you back to the basics…

I often get asked, what came first, buttercup the flower or Alero Buttercup, the super awesome blogger. This is my answer: One is spelt with a capital B and the other is not, so put some respek on my name and call it a day (blogger by day, spitter of rap lines at night). So how and why did I start blogging about fashion and lifestyle?  Let's start with the name Alero Buttercup. Alero is my first name and the name of an Oldsmobile Car  model that clearly hasnt sent my cheque in the post for using my name so freely and carelessly. Then  the Buttercup part which if you thought was a flowery girly symbol, well you are WRONG. Growing up I watched the power puff girls religiously and Buttercup was my favourite character. She was clearly a tomboy who had anger issues but who are we to judge?. She was fearless, bold and damn right the life of the party. I wanted to be her so bad that I kept her name at the back of my mind for a rainy day. In May 2015, in London the rainy day was finally upon us, as if possessed by Anna Wintour herself, I looked up to the heavy grey sky and thought, " I am starting my blog today". No pre planning, no thinking about it and definitely no confidence in my writing skills. Just like that the blog was born. Hubby put together a site for me in a day and I posted my first blog post. I wasn't always "into fashion", I spent all my university days looking like the 3rd member of the Kriss Kross duo. Big saggy pants, crop tops and a bandana would do most days. Although I dressed like a tomboy, I still looked good (I think) Then while on maternity leave I joined a blogger social media site called Pose. It was a platform for fashion bloggers to showcase style while tagging all items they were wearing. I started posting there but kept it a secret from friends and family,  not to get any negative feedback (blogging still wasn't something a lot of people I know understood back then). With the help of Pose, I started finding key fashion pieces with little or no effort, I fell in love with putting things together and playing dress up. That was the beginning of my fashion addiction. Why did I start my blog? Accountability. Yes. As mum's we make everybody else our priorities so often  that we can neglect ourselves. Three weeks post partum , I found myself sitting on the sofa and realised I hadn't taken a bath in 2 days, just as the thought entered my mind, my mum marches in with a bottle of relaxer, She was going to relax my hair and I had no say in the matter (the good old days of the creamy crack). I wasn't going to argue with a former hair salon owner that can still whoop my arse to be honest. That was when I knew that this was going to be a battle, accepting my new reponsibily of a little fur ball sitting in my lap, sucking me dry and looking my best simultaneously.  I needed to be accountable. No more wearing unflattering onesies to the supermarket, no more hiding my bad hair under hats and roaming the streets like a Russian spy on the streets of London. This was it. I was going to be more thoughtful with my fashion and show my passion to the world. Alero Buttercup was born shortly after. As time goes on, I hope I have been able through my blog to help, inspire and show ladies that motherhood and style can live in you simultaneously. Take time out for yourself and treat yourself good. About this outfit Hands up who thinks I was on a major trip when I put this outfit together ?. Well not everything needs to match, as a matter of fact nothing I have on matches but in my head they all seemed to go together, that's why I created this outfit.  It gives an interesting convo when you wear this to a birthday party. I am a big fan of mixing and matching, the more different they are, the more they seem to make a great outfit. This skirt is a no go area for most people because they can only envision it with a black top, you can wear this with most colours under the sky. My initial thought was to match it with a solid emerald green top I already own but I thought na, that's not crazy enough ?. Top tips for first time print clashers 1. Start slowly, mix florals and stripe and you will not go wrong 2. Mix the same print in different colours, that seems to work too 3. Think in your head, what solid colours harmonise well? It would work for prints too just make sure the base colours look good together and you are good to go. Missguided top old but this print here is similar and very pretty Asos skirt here for something a little more upscale, check out this Rixo skirt here Shoes old (Betsy Johnson) similar here Sunglasses Gucci Clutch bag similar here  Until next time Buttercups ??.

 

  

What impact do you want to have?

"Mummy you need to Persevere were the words my 5 year old said to me when I told him I was too tired to go to the gym. He has used this word before a few times and the novelty of his advanced vocabulary has worn off a little but he was so accurate I felt like "why has this boy become so judgemental all of a sudden?" ?. That's kids for you, little sponges. I look at my baby and think, what are the most important life lessons I want to impart. If you asked me this 10 years ago I was ready to present my child with the commandments carved in stone at his birth, don't ask questions, no I haven't met Moses personally, lets just say he is a friend of a friend and this is a signed copy so the earlier you start to read the better for you. My plan was complete and fool proof, I thought I had this parenting thing on lock. This was until real life happened to me, adulting was hard! What is all this? New non childhood friends teaching you all kinds of lessons, office politicking, bills, credit ratings, "CEO by 25" not exactly panning out, exercising ?, grocery shopping and struggling to match my eye liner wings, were only some of the things I didn't expect from life. My plans for my son took a sharp turn, out with the commandments carved in stone (damn that was so heavy to move), in with more practical life lessons. I have narrowed these down to four broad categories. Finances Nutrition Commitment  Awareness Ok, not in that order, although I leave a copy of the "Principles of Finance" dotted around the place for him to take the hint.  Finances and Nutrition are pretty standard and self explanatory. The last two Commitment and Awareness might need a bit more digging into.  When adulthood happened to me, UNEXPECTEDLY, may I add!?, I soon realised, I had to work, like wake up first thing in the morning, ride the train for an hour or so and work for 8 hours a day then ride the train back. OUTRAGEOUS I know! like who does that right?  Well most of the population does  and it is a big commitment. A Commitment to work, business ideas, personal development, people around us, friends and family, relationships are some things that will benefit a child and I look at this as the foundation. I grew up understanding this because my mother instilled it in us. You could never get out of going to school for any reason on earth,  Me: " but mummy my appendix is handing out of my torso help! "  Mum: "get my sewing kit, hurry up you will be late for school". Me:  "MUMMY, there is a landslide outside" Mum: "Quick! Get your wellies, you can't miss your assembly".  So rather than make an excuse, I found a solution for everything before she did. I knew I was going to my swimming and tennis lessons on Saturdays without doubt, I knew I was doing dictation every evening without fail. I learnt to be committed from an early age and this has had huge benefits in my life as an adult. Now awareness. Have you come across adults that are just not aware of themselves, personal hygiene zero, manners minus 20, emotional intelligence non existent. Well it is more prevalent in today's society. Awareness of self is very important as well as awareness of your immediate environment, judging emotions, mood and pre-empting danger and ambush during meetings at work (where most predatory crimes happen but are never reported). When a child is aware, they have an advantage in life, they know exactly when to laugh at their bosses dry jokes, just at the right time and the right amounts. Awareness also teaches a child how to show empathy and present a listening ear which will ultimately allow them gain trust, likeability and sometimes power to get ahead in life.  There are many other virtues you can teach a child, kindness, equality, love, strength, believing in a higher power and sarcasm ?. But most of these are picked up by demonstration from the parents and influencers around them. Parenting is hard, there is not one way to bring up a child but there are a million ways to prepare them to be a good contribution to society. Don't let school or society raise your child, instil strong values in them that anything contrary will be questioned. I am not a fan of Donnie Trump but in an interview he revealed what he said to his children everyday since they were kids "No drinking, No drugs and no smoking" And true to that, all his kids are free from those distractions that many people fall into as adults. Speak it today. Let the parenting begin ?. About this outfit Neutrals. Not me usually but some time you have to bite the bullet and do something different. Still had to insert colour somehow by the way of shoes ? Top Next (Dinosaur old) similar here or here Skirt Top shop here (on sale so hurry) Shoes New look similar here Keep this week slayed, what is left of it.  Until next time Buttercups. Please if you have liked this article, hit share just below here ↘️ ???   

Let’s have a conversation a minute 

About hair stylists.  I was writing a blog post on my shopping strategy and tips on how to navigate your way through the summer sales. Well my focus turned firmly to "famous" Instagram hair stylists because of some absurd posts I have seen lately. These are from hair stylist that have found some fame either by having 1. More than 10k followers 2. Had a celebrity (D-Z list) grace their studio once upon a time or 3. Are super aware of their talent almost akin to Superman' s awareness of kryptonite millions of miles away You must have hands of gold if you can post this on your business page with 39k followers (potential customers) Or  I don't know what is more disturbing, the post or the 600 plus people that liked it. So I want to understand is Have we as black women who spend the most money and time on our hair given these stylists 'God like' status? Have we elevated them to the point of no return? This is very similar a certain direct airline carrier (that begins with a B and ends with an A) to Nigeria who charges the most but treats Nigerians like stray dogs on the street brimming with fleas. Or have I just been unfortunate to come across the few that spoil the names of all the good ones out there, you know, the Al-Qaeda of the hair world. Well let's hope so. But.... ( here she goes again), we need to start demanding better service from every damn person that we give our hard earned money to. In this era of the internet and almighty reviews, we have to understand that as consumers we have more power than ever. More power than a powerful MAN on a powerful day, even Dona is aware with his short Twitter fingers typing away 23/6 (get It? ?). This is what I do when I am peeved 1. I take to Twitter while simultaneously  writing a formal letter on letter headed paper. Matrix style multitasking Source: life hacker Australia (ain't no body tryna get sued) 2. If I write a complaint email to a big company, I always copy in my fake law firm (A&A Solicitors) so you might want to think about that decision to reject my demand for £1.5 million worth of vouchers (usually food). 3. If not satisfied with the outcome of the proceedings, only as a last resort, I take my complaints to places like Trust Pilot and Trip advisor to SCATTA your reputation. Let's use what we have collectively and get the service we deserve. Can I hear an AMEN? Style tip of the week, think outside the box and do something that you wouldn't have dared do before. Stripe on stripe crime. Try this out and please tag me in your photos ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️ this is me giving every kind of direction during my shoot ???. ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️ This is the art I spend my time doing on the train on my way to work, it soothes me ???. Outfit deets Top: ASOS old Trousers: Zara sale  Hat: ASOS Shoes: Marks and Spencer  Bag: TK Maxx Until next time buttercups

Fancy hats, bubbly and high tea 

... with the queen? You make me an offer I cannot refuse. For my non British readers aka Immigrants ( gosh I can't stand them ?) let me tell you a thing or two about Ascot. Ascot is a British horse racing ground and the poshest one may I add. It is barely two miles from where the Queen lives so that is her hood hood! Every year around June there are four days of horse racing where the Queen and many members of the royal family attend just to wave to us commoners and clear their conscience until next year when they rinse and repeat (no wonder they live so long ?). Out of the four days, one is called "Ladies day at the Royal Ascot", take out "Ladies", insert us, BAM we were gearing up ready to go.  Ascot has a strict dress code, naturally if you are coming to see the Queen, you need to dress appropriately. You let human beings do whatever they want, guaranteed there will be someone there wearing a mini skirt and a mankini, twerking to the tune of the national anthem. Some of the rules are, you must wear a hat and keep it on at all times (I was here for this), your dress must not be above knee length, off shoulder dresses not allowed, dress must be modest and so on but this year they added full length Jumpsuits to the list of acceptable dress which gave people a sense that they were relaxing the rules a little.  My first experience of Ascot was a wonderful one. The weather was beautiful. We spread our picnic not far from the race track so we were in the middle of the action. When I looked around, I realised it was as much about friendship as it was dressing up. People having a good time with their friends and making memories.  Although it was a glorious day, I would do some things differently next year. 1. Get there earlier than I did (12 noon), to have more time with friends 2. Arrange to all go together, we spent a lot of time waiting around and looking for each other.  3. Pack a full picnic. Contents of the picnic basket or cooler will consist mainly of Jellof  rice and ram suya ? 4. Arrange childcare for the whole day, please don't wait up for mama. 5. Lastly don't drive so that champagne and strawberries can be my diet for a good 6 hours. Lastly I would give myself more time for styling because there is a mad rush for hats that are not too expensive so I would like to take my time to dig around etsy to find a perfect hat. I changed my outfit a few million times depending on my mood that day. In the end I went for a dress I had owned for years. I knew I wanted a small fascinator because no one wants their hat blowing half way across the racecourse and eaten by one of the horses?. I wore a hat from Debenhams which cost about £40 and my dress is so old from Shein. My shoes are my precious Dolce and Gabbana. Me and my man dem below init ? So next year when you go to Ascot to feel posh for the day, hit me up for styling tips. Until next time Buttercups I leave you with a short video of the best outfit I saw on the day, STUNNER!

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