What impact do you want to have?

"Mummy you need to Persevere were the words my 5 year old said to me when I told him I was too tired to go to the gym. He has used this word before a few times and the novelty of his advanced vocabulary has worn off a little but he was so accurate I felt like "why has this boy become so judgemental all of a sudden?" ?. That's kids for you, little sponges. I look at my baby and think, what are the most important life lessons I want to impart. If you asked me this 10 years ago I was ready to present my child with the commandments carved in stone at his birth, don't ask questions, no I haven't met Moses personally, lets just say he is a friend of a friend and this is a signed copy so the earlier you start to read the better for you. My plan was complete and fool proof, I thought I had this parenting thing on lock. This was until real life happened to me, adulting was hard! What is all this? New non childhood friends teaching you all kinds of lessons, office politicking, bills, credit ratings, "CEO by 25" not exactly panning out, exercising ?, grocery shopping and struggling to match my eye liner wings, were only some of the things I didn't expect from life. My plans for my son took a sharp turn, out with the commandments carved in stone (damn that was so heavy to move), in with more practical life lessons. I have narrowed these down to four broad categories. Finances Nutrition Commitment  Awareness Ok, not in that order, although I leave a copy of the "Principles of Finance" dotted around the place for him to take the hint.  Finances and Nutrition are pretty standard and self explanatory. The last two Commitment and Awareness might need a bit more digging into.  When adulthood happened to me, UNEXPECTEDLY, may I add!?, I soon realised, I had to work, like wake up first thing in the morning, ride the train for an hour or so and work for 8 hours a day then ride the train back. OUTRAGEOUS I know! like who does that right?  Well most of the population does  and it is a big commitment. A Commitment to work, business ideas, personal development, people around us, friends and family, relationships are some things that will benefit a child and I look at this as the foundation. I grew up understanding this because my mother instilled it in us. You could never get out of going to school for any reason on earth,  Me: " but mummy my appendix is handing out of my torso help! "  Mum: "get my sewing kit, hurry up you will be late for school". Me:  "MUMMY, there is a landslide outside" Mum: "Quick! Get your wellies, you can't miss your assembly".  So rather than make an excuse, I found a solution for everything before she did. I knew I was going to my swimming and tennis lessons on Saturdays without doubt, I knew I was doing dictation every evening without fail. I learnt to be committed from an early age and this has had huge benefits in my life as an adult. Now awareness. Have you come across adults that are just not aware of themselves, personal hygiene zero, manners minus 20, emotional intelligence non existent. Well it is more prevalent in today's society. Awareness of self is very important as well as awareness of your immediate environment, judging emotions, mood and pre-empting danger and ambush during meetings at work (where most predatory crimes happen but are never reported). When a child is aware, they have an advantage in life, they know exactly when to laugh at their bosses dry jokes, just at the right time and the right amounts. Awareness also teaches a child how to show empathy and present a listening ear which will ultimately allow them gain trust, likeability and sometimes power to get ahead in life.  There are many other virtues you can teach a child, kindness, equality, love, strength, believing in a higher power and sarcasm ?. But most of these are picked up by demonstration from the parents and influencers around them. Parenting is hard, there is not one way to bring up a child but there are a million ways to prepare them to be a good contribution to society. Don't let school or society raise your child, instil strong values in them that anything contrary will be questioned. I am not a fan of Donnie Trump but in an interview he revealed what he said to his children everyday since they were kids "No drinking, No drugs and no smoking" And true to that, all his kids are free from those distractions that many people fall into as adults. Speak it today. Let the parenting begin ?. About this outfit Neutrals. Not me usually but some time you have to bite the bullet and do something different. Still had to insert colour somehow by the way of shoes ? Top Next (Dinosaur old) similar here or here Skirt Top shop here (on sale so hurry) Shoes New look similar here Keep this week slayed, what is left of it.  Until next time Buttercups. Please if you have liked this article, hit share just below here ↘️ ???   

Let’s have a conversation a minute 

About hair stylists.  I was writing a blog post on my shopping strategy and tips on how to navigate your way through the summer sales. Well my focus turned firmly to "famous" Instagram hair stylists because of some absurd posts I have seen lately. These are from hair stylist that have found some fame either by having 1. More than 10k followers 2. Had a celebrity (D-Z list) grace their studio once upon a time or 3. Are super aware of their talent almost akin to Superman' s awareness of kryptonite millions of miles away You must have hands of gold if you can post this on your business page with 39k followers (potential customers) Or  I don't know what is more disturbing, the post or the 600 plus people that liked it. So I want to understand is Have we as black women who spend the most money and time on our hair given these stylists 'God like' status? Have we elevated them to the point of no return? This is very similar a certain direct airline carrier (that begins with a B and ends with an A) to Nigeria who charges the most but treats Nigerians like stray dogs on the street brimming with fleas. Or have I just been unfortunate to come across the few that spoil the names of all the good ones out there, you know, the Al-Qaeda of the hair world. Well let's hope so. But.... ( here she goes again), we need to start demanding better service from every damn person that we give our hard earned money to. In this era of the internet and almighty reviews, we have to understand that as consumers we have more power than ever. More power than a powerful MAN on a powerful day, even Dona is aware with his short Twitter fingers typing away 23/6 (get It? ?). This is what I do when I am peeved 1. I take to Twitter while simultaneously  writing a formal letter on letter headed paper. Matrix style multitasking Source: life hacker Australia (ain't no body tryna get sued) 2. If I write a complaint email to a big company, I always copy in my fake law firm (A&A Solicitors) so you might want to think about that decision to reject my demand for £1.5 million worth of vouchers (usually food). 3. If not satisfied with the outcome of the proceedings, only as a last resort, I take my complaints to places like Trust Pilot and Trip advisor to SCATTA your reputation. Let's use what we have collectively and get the service we deserve. Can I hear an AMEN? Style tip of the week, think outside the box and do something that you wouldn't have dared do before. Stripe on stripe crime. Try this out and please tag me in your photos ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️ this is me giving every kind of direction during my shoot ???. ⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️ This is the art I spend my time doing on the train on my way to work, it soothes me ???. Outfit deets Top: ASOS old Trousers: Zara sale  Hat: ASOS Shoes: Marks and Spencer  Bag: TK Maxx Until next time buttercups

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