You don’t have to be in the competition what my son said to me when we were up in late hours desperately trying to finish a "voluntary" bug project competition he was asked to join by his teacher. At first I got a bit annoyed and irritated by the comment, does this young man know that every job interview he will attend, every auction, every contract bid in life is a competition? After my brief moment, I put myself together and realised he doesn't know better so my job as a parent is  to educate  him about competition and the real world. As a child I was never competitive. I always scored in the top three in my class in academics and I was very sporty and musical. I was an all rounder and didn't think I needed to be competitive to prove anything to anyone. It was thesame in high school, I did well in academics, my social life and also excelled in sports. These periods built my self confidence, I knew who I was and was highly secure in myself,  that was until I applied for my first job at 16 and was rejected. Its funny because I thought my performance at the interview was great and  could only be compared to an Executive director with 30 years of experience in the banking industry, you know, confident, cocky, god like with a sprinkle of humour all at the same time. I was absolutely shocked when I was told a resounding “NO” and I thought "do they know who I am?", "every other company in this industry want me, but I want you" (shelf stacking industry that is, its a thing I can assure you) 😂.  Then I began to see all the competition around me, in university when you leave the library at 9pm to go home and see your course mates sipping on a freshly made brew,  just settling in for a night of studying. When people borrowed books strategically just to ensure other people and groups never have access to the books for key projects and assignments. When people do everything to be the lecturers pet just to get ahead in grades. I saw all of these happening and thought, I am going to peel my layers to reveal my competitive side, game on! My relationship with competitive people in the past have been very dicey, I found over competitive people unattractive for friendships, I didnt want to hide successes from friends because I think it will make them unhappy or jealous of my success. I never wanted to develop a complex because of people who strive to be better than the next. I stayed away! But as years roll by you ask yourself "How are you a judge of competitiveness all of a sudden?", "who appointed you the leader of the yardstick in which competitiveness is measured?" Now when I meet such people , I draw them close, I want them to guide me in something that is not inherent in me. I dread the thought of being left behind so I use them as a sharpening tool, to keep me in check and show me the trail, why not? So you can understand my sadness in seeing my son, the most confident child on earth, talented all round taking the same steps as me in not being a competitor. After he told me he didn't have to enter the competition because it wasn't compulsory, I sat him down and told him if he wanted to excel then he has to compete, compete with course mates, industry peers, the next candidate and most importantly himself! But he must always remember to stay in his path and not do anything that felt like it was taking him away from what he wad destined for. If you are not in it to win it you will never get the prize. Monday motivation. I hope we help our children realise this important life lesson.  That reminds me, off to play the lottery guys, wish me luck 😂 About this outfit This was a fun outfit for  me to play around with, monochrome with a splash of red. Although I was compared to a Flamenco dancer, I didn't care because I absolutely loved it. Earrings Asos (old). I found these cute pair on etsy (oh I love etsy).  Hat is from TK Sale  Top was  on sale in Very but unfortunately they are out of stock Shoes here  Until next time Buttercups. Go out there and get it 

What does underwear mean to you?

It was about 6.30pm on a Wednesday evening, I was on a packed train from Oxford circus just trying to survive the rush hour of sweaty pits and bacteria so big you could kill them like mosquitos by slapping your palms together. It was a regular ole evening with regular ole passengers until suddenly the crowd started to part like the Red sea. A beautiful, slim, brown skin girl with thick curly hair walks in with such aura and confidence that I had immediate self esteem issues and my negative self (lets call her Halle Berry) started talking to my real self (call this one Beyonce) and it went a bit like this   Halle Berry: When I told you not to eat calories today you thought I was joking Beyoncé: *praying against 3000 calories borrowed from the next week* Halle Berry: See yourself? Unrepentant beesh ? Back to the train. I realised one of the reasons why the crowd parted for her was because she was like a goddess that graced us mere mortals with her presence on the Victoria line and partly  because she had three big bags of Ann  Summers and Victoria secret. Now things began to make sense to me, this goddess had an active sex life and wasn't afraid to show it. I got thinking about underwear. How many of you in long term relationships now see underwear as a basic human right not something for your other half to get some enjoyment from. When I go to the shop to purchase underwear, I give it the most vigorous stretch test that even a 500 year old Egyptian  mummy would be so proud of my attention to detail of elasticity. I want to know if it will stand the test of time. I talk to the underwear, telling them of the "Family 5 year plan" (you are part of us now forever so I need to do my due diligence). I spend hours looking at reviews of the newest most comfortable bras with air lite technology but bras like that look like they were designed by the Church of Seventh day adventists. Why does it have to be so? Why cant we have comfort and sexy? Or Why can't I be the one who does underwear shopping like it is a hobby not a chore? Pick out pieces for an Egyptian princess not a mummy? Choose style over comfort and strut with the bags on the tube unapologetically.  I really don't have the answers, I may have to get back to you on this one because I was rudely interrupted by the sale alarm I put online for "the it bra for mums sold over 200 in Madagascar alone" sigh. That day  after the train goddess encounter I got so triggered that I went online for a good ole shopping experience for underwear, one I have never embarked on before but firmly shut my laptop because I just couldnt go through with it. I need comfort too so I am on a mission to find a brand that does both and subsequently boost their profits by 25%. If you know of this mythical brand please let me know, I don't want a repeat of walking PAST Victoria Secret with hubby where he pushed me inside so hard that I got severe whiplash and a concussion ?. Help me pipo I need to find that brand. Please comment below. About this outfit  I saw these boots at public desire in March/April this year. I had seen the Balenciaga version and thought no difference, I will get them. Two days Later, sold out! I couldn't believe my eyes. I cried (there was some wailing too), then I opened the bible to give me verses on strength. I was on the phone to public desire and was put on a waiting list (when you are not Chanel or Hermes) but you are affordable so God is good all the time ?. Finally in August I got a shipment, I passed out when I saw the long package and knew exactly what it was. Unfortunately these are sold out so you can get an alternative here  Blazer- Hubbys closet ? Charles Trywitt blazer Skirt Zara (old) Until next time Buttercups. Don't forget to drop a comment below.

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