AleroButtercup

WHY I DO NOT LOVE MY HAIR

Yes! You heard it right, I DO NOT LOVE MY HAIR! I never really did for reasons unknown but the big chop was four years ago and I have never looked back.

Going natural was a health choice for me, not for other reasons like being 'proud' of my hair and heritage. I didn’t want chemicals hitting my scalp every 8 or so weeks for the rest of my life like it had for the many years before. As long as I remembered pre-natural stage, I had long, straight, relaxed hair. I do not know exactly when I got my first relaxer but a photograph on my 4th birthday saw my mid back length bone-straight hair flowing like the goddess Aphrodite who just took sight of a sailing ship with 200 hot men aboard. It is safe to say my hair got relaxed in my 3’s (Mum, expect a call from Jerry Springer ASAP).

Relaxing my hair was a way of life for me but in the wave of afro power natural hair revolution that has swept the nations in the last decade, I thought about going natural many times but I resisted. I resisted because for the 9 months I was pregnant with my son I didn’t use relaxers and my mixed textures nearly sent me to a mental asylum. I worried about going natural, about the management and styling of my hair  and many more issues I might come across. I had nine months of undergrowth and unkempt hair and the day after my son was born, my mother stood in front of me with a bowl of relaxer and a steely determination similar to a family intervention for a person on crack cocaine. The look on her face said it all “You look crazy, sit down let me restore your factory settings” (somewhat).

Fast forward two years later, I decided to go natural a few good years after many people around me had dumped the creamy crack and preached to me often about joining her natural hair CULT (as I saw it at the time). I went for the big chop immediately, no transitioning, no thinking about it because I have never had sentiments towards my hair.

When I say I don’t love my hair, it is true! I DID NOT love my relaxed hair, I don’t love my natural hair. Hair to me are just dead cells that exist so you can enhance, style up and look cute, it is a platform for styling and nothing else. My hair grows fast and long and thick but I hold no value for it. When people complimented my long hair, I shrugged and thought “If only they knew what I plan for this hair in the next few months”. I chopped and the drop of a hat, I coloured one day and changed the colour the next , I bleached, and get this… I NEVER TIED A BONNET TO BED (moment of silence for my hair please). Kids do not try this at home!

My disregard for my hair started young. I remember when I first got admission to a catholic boarding school at the age of 10, we were required to cut our hair short before the first day of school. As soon as I heard I got admission, a few months before resumption to school, I went to the barbers BY MYSELF  without the permission of my mum to cut my hair, the barbers sent me back to my dismay even after flashing my dalla dalla bills to entice them. The following weeks, I would bug my mum endlessly about cutting my hair, she gave in and I was back at the barbers with my permission slip to get my Samson locs annihilated forever never to return. I stepped out looking fresh, came out of the barbers skipping and singing all the way home, I was so happy. Very unusual for a 10 year old but I was fed up of  long relaxed hair and wanted something different.

These days, everyone is expected to go natural otherwise you must be ashamed of your heritage or you don’t love yourself. LIES! Some people just couldn’t care less. Hair means different things to different people. My hair has never defined me, it has never made me feel ugly or pretty, it has never held significance on how I felt about myself.  So when I see people that have their natural hair constantly covered under wigs, I let them be, It's ok. I don’t label it as self-hate, they just don’t love their hair just like they might not love their feet or their booty, hair is just another anatomy that you can love, like, hate or feel indifferent about. Hair might mean the world to some people but mean nothing to others. This is my stance on the matter. Everyone has just gotta do you. I think I am loving my hair this week but next week will be another story for sure. I don't love my hair but I like it right now.

Until next time buttercups Peace and Love

About this outfit

Pretty little thing Oversize shirt (sold out) similar here or here

New look check skirt or similar style here 

Primark Gingham shoes similar here

My Newyork trip: Rugrat in the city

I have been to New york city many times before but this was the first trip with my little one and his first city holiday.

While my city trips usually have an itinerary of FOOD, FEEDING, CONSUMING and some kind of "Museuming", it had to be different this time because one, my son eats nothing apart from plain pasta and chips and two, he is so restless on the dinner table so I had to put in the effort to find other entertainment to the detriment of getting nutrients into my body.

I was quite nervous at first taking a child to a big bustling city, how can I entertain him? How can I do things he loves and still have time for my past times. I quickly snapped out of my fear and thought, I live in a mega city myself and I find things for my child to do at home so why not here in NYC.

My ultimate plan began, and schedule started looking something like this, child activity- cocktail on a rooftop- child activity- Food and more cocktails- then food and drink planning for the next day after all we need food and drink to stay alive right? RIGHT!

1.The first place we visited was The NFL experience in Times square. It is an interactive place where you get to experience what the NFL feels and sounds like, with a 5d cinema, the experience was exciting and mesmerising for the little man. Prices start from $33 per person

2. THE RIDE NYC- Forget about taking a tour on the regular open top buses, the ride has taken city tours into the 21st century. A comic tour of the city on a party bus with epic street performances, there is no better way to see the city. Tip: take the tour at night and take the risk and book on the day. Our last minute booking saved us $28 dollars each.

3. Duncan's Candy shop- Lets just say my lil one lost his damn mind in this candy store, there are a few scattered around the city. Make sure you visit the cafe and try one of their Sundaes, they do it big I tell ya.

4. Central park tour on a Rickshaw or horse drawn carriage - We went on the Rickshaw and it was a nice tour and cheaper than the latter. They riders knew every movie that was shot in the park and they tailor the tour to children's movies and shows if there is a child on board. Your Rickshaw driver is also your photographer, use him well to get epic shots

5. Statue of Liberty tour- If you are with kids my advice is to do the tour where you see the statue of liberty from the water, it is a great view and only a 2 hour tour. Longer tours (4 hours) that include going to Ellis Island and require queuing to get to the top may be too long for the little ones.

Image result for statue of liberty cruise

FOOD (Alero, do not be a slave to food I told myself several times a day in NYC).

1. After eating a truck load of Shake Shack I thought it was time for a change. I stumbled across a petite crepe place Vive La Crepe on Columbus and 68th. With sweet and savory crepes, there is something for everyone. I loved the egg, bacon and cheese crepe.

Image result for viva la crepe nyc

2. Black tap was an awesome burger place just one block from where we stayed in Mid town Manhattan 55th W and 8th Avenue. We always saw massive queues in front and thought this is a good sign. With their brioche burgers, crispy chicken wings and amazing sundaes, who could resist. Tip: don't let the queues put you off, we stood in the 45 minute queue for only 10 minutes because a table for 5 became available so we jumped the queue to our delight.

Image result for black tap nyc

3. Miss Lillys Caribbean restaurant down town. With its beautiful retro vibe, excellent decor and amazing food, whats not to love. When I tell you I haven't had better oxtail and Mac and cheese before in my life, please believe me, it is not an exaggeration. The food was smashinginly delicious, Caribbean food at its finest. It wasn't cheap though so hol' ya dalla dalla bills.

Image result for miss lily's new york

Image result for miss lily's new york food

4. Ichiumi-  Although we literally got chased down the road for a tip ( no kidding, my first instinct was run but I had a child with me and I had called an uber already so I knew running was a bad idea 😂), the food was decent. A Japanese buffet restaurant with the buffet area as long as half a football pitch, variety was the man of the match (see what I did there? get it?)

Image result for ichiumi

Newyork city was a great mixture of culinary experience and fun things to do with kids. After my trip I wondered why I was so nervous in the first place. With some careful planning and great friends, I would do it again and again.

One thing for sure about NYC is every time I visit, I see the hustle on the street and I top up on my hustle spirit and I am raring to go. #CEO gang. #We aspire.

Thanks for reading and see you back soon Buttercups 😘😘😘

  Ps: not all photos are mine (Not about to see the inside of a courtroom anytime soon)

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