...is what my son said to me when we were up in late hours desperately trying to finish a "voluntary" bug project competition he was asked to join by his teacher. At first I got a bit annoyed and irritated by the comment, does this young man know that every job interview he will attend, every auction, every contract bid in life is a competition? After my brief moment, I put myself together and realised he doesn't know better so my job as a parent is to educate him about competition and the real world.
As a child I was never competitive. I always scored in the top three in my class in academics and I was very sporty and musical. I was an all rounder and didn't think I needed to be competitive to prove anything to anyone. It was thesame in high school, I did well in academics, my social life and also excelled in sports. These periods built my self confidence, I knew who I was and was highly secure in myself, that was until I applied for my first job at 16 and was rejected. Its funny because I thought my performance at the interview was great and could only be compared to an Executive director with 30 years of experience in the banking industry, you know, confident, cocky, god like with a sprinkle of humour all at the same time. I was absolutely shocked when I was told a resounding “NO” and I thought "do they know who I am?", "every other company in this industry want me, but I want you" (shelf stacking industry that is, its a thing I can assure you) 😂.
Then I began to see all the competition around me, in university when you leave the library at 9pm to go home and see your course mates sipping on a freshly made brew, just settling in for a night of studying. When people borrowed books strategically just to ensure other people and groups never have access to the books for key projects and assignments. When people do everything to be the lecturers pet just to get ahead in grades. I saw all of these happening and thought, I am going to peel my layers to reveal my competitive side, game on!
My relationship with competitive people in the past have been very dicey, I found over competitive people unattractive for friendships, I didnt want to hide successes from friends because I think it will make them unhappy or jealous of my success. I never wanted to develop a complex because of people who strive to be better than the next. I stayed away! But as years roll by you ask yourself "How are you a judge of competitiveness all of a sudden?", "who appointed you the leader of the yardstick in which competitiveness is measured?" Now when I meet such people , I draw them close, I want them to guide me in something that is not inherent in me. I dread the thought of being left behind so I use them as a sharpening tool, to keep me in check and show me the trail, why not?
So you can understand my sadness in seeing my son, the most confident child on earth, talented all round taking the same steps as me in not being a competitor. After he told me he didn't have to enter the competition because it wasn't compulsory, I sat him down and told him if he wanted to excel then he has to compete, compete with course mates, industry peers, the next candidate and most importantly himself! But he must always remember to stay in his path and not do anything that felt like it was taking him away from what he wad destined for. If you are not in it to win it you will never get the prize. Monday motivation. I hope we help our children realise this important life lesson. That reminds me, off to play the lottery guys, wish me luck 😂
About this outfit
This was a fun outfit for me to play around with, monochrome with a splash of red. Although I was compared to a Flamenco dancer, I didn't care because I absolutely loved it.
Earrings Asos (old). I found these
cute pair on etsy (oh I love etsy).
Hat is from TK Sale
Top was on sale in Very but unfortunately they are out of stock
Shoes
here
Until next time Buttercups. Go out there and get it
Growing up, my mum was always involved with charities. She would say "charity wipes away a multitude of sin", I never understood that until recently. When you are focused on giving with grace and doing good, there is no room for evil to lurk in your mind. Good and evil cannot live in the same place at the same time. I grew up going to St Vincent de Paul society meetings with my mum who is dedicated to helping the poor. I learnt to be charitable mostly by seeing her charity. Today it is easy for our children to be so shielded from the suffering of others that they become oblivious to the realities around them so I am making a conscious effort to teach my 6 year old about doing good and giving. And how do I do this? Here are some ways:
1. We went through his old toys for donation to our local hospital. I didn't just want him to give away toys he doesn't care for, I nudged him to give toys he struggled to let go of, with encouraging words like " can you imagine how happy that will make another child? " or "you are going to make another child's Christmas so joyful". Giving is about sacrifice, not only when it is convenient and it is a valuable lesson for kids.
2. I gave him the honour of giving our neighbours their Christmas cards and chocolates. Of course to reinforce the message of giving and not just receiving during the Holiday. I also reminded him of the joy he would bring to our neighbours by giving them chocolate, of which he replied "but they are on a diet"😂😂😂. But the message was there and loud and clear.
3. We are currently in the planning stages of gifts he is going to make for family members, since he gat no job (Fada lawd please bless him with a job in 2018😂). I have bought supplies for hand made cards papier mache jewellery boxes, candy necklaces, decorated picture frames and decorated vases. He will work just like the elves are working very hard to bring him his pressies. It's all in the spirit of giving.
4. We always pray for children around the world who have less than we do. So he will write a letter to them and make a card wishing them a Merry Christmas which I will put some money in and send it off on his behalf.
5. Lastly, as part of his schools charitable deeds, each pupil packs a shoe box with little toys, sanitary goods, cosmetics and stationery. I involve him in the preparations and make up two shoe boxes rather than the required one. He helps with picking and the wrapping of the goods.
These are just the little things that pass on my passion for good and helping others at this festive time. I hope this helps for people who just don't know where to start teaching kids about giving.
Suggestions on giving this Christmas
Shoe box appeal is still going, it is never too late. See below the Samaritan's site and put in your post code to find your nearest drop off point.
https://www.samaritans-purse.org.uk/what-we-do/operation-christmas-child/what-goes-in-my-shoebox/
I usually go to the pound shop and stock a box with
1. Toothpaste
2. Toothbrush
3. Colouring pens
4. Pack of pencils
5. Small book
6. Deodorant spray
7. Small toy
8. Small toy
9. Small toy
10. Small toy
All cost £10. I do a boy themed and girl themed box and wrap it nicely in a Christmas themed wrapping paper.
CRISIS and CENTRE POINT
These are very close to my heart. They are both homeless charities who take homeless people off the streets for the holidays (9 days), they provide them with meals, Christmas Turkey, sanitation and a health check all for £26 per person. Follow CRISIS link here or Center point for homeless young people here
GIVE BLOOD
Giving blood is always a good idea. The question I always pose to people when they are hesitant is "If you or your child needed blood, would you be grateful to get what you need?". If yes then give blood there is really no question. Click link for your nearest center.
Spread the love and be kind this season and always.
Until next time buttercups
